since my last real blog it's been a while. There was a lot of trouble, there were a lot of tears, there was a lot of fun, there were a lot of lost friends. Do not really want to talk about it and we do not have so much time. It would take me at least 3 days that you could follow the story.
Whatever, here I am again. And here we are again too. It seems like the same story is repeating all over and over again. But why is it repeating? Wasn't all said? Didn't we moved on? Without each other?
Somehow we found back to each other. But is this good or bad? Each conversation with you is like a déjà-vu! It is ending always the same - in tears.
But we do not give up. Why? Do we need the pain? Did it became so usual to be together? To freak out because of nothing? Crying until falling asleep?
Oh boy... what are we doing it all over again? ... I know the answer and you do too. We cannot live without each other. But is this worth all the pain, all the tears?
Yes it is. We should not forget the good times. The times when we are happy together. When we are in love. But these times are mostly invisible for outsiders. Nobody can understand the relationship between two others. The outsiders just get the bad times. They cannot even imagine the love between us. And really, what the hell are we listening to what other people say? It is our life.
But what if every word is said. No words are left to tell. No sentences unspoken. What if the silence between us gets bigger and bigger? When do we get to the point when words are not enough anymore and doings should follow? Is it just about the decision of one of us or of both? And what if we are getting tired of fighting?
Words are not enough anymore...
Today I started with doings. I tidied up my room. Throwing all the mess out. I threw out the chaos. I banned it. So I can get some space in my room and maybe in my mind. There is still a lot to be done tomorrow. I hope I can start all over again soon.
Do not know what to do but I have a mission: living!
xoxo RB
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