Hot 'n' Cold

You make my heart beat faster than it ever did before.

Every night I am crying because of you.

The things you say make me smile.

Things you say but do not do break my heart.

You got me! Cannot do anything against it. ♥

! ! !

Wanna scream it out loud!
Wanna tell you I'm missing you!
Wanna sleep beside you!
Wanna kiss you!
Nothing else but being with you. ♥

Merry Little Christmas

It is snowing. Slowly the flakes are falling. The wind is blowing gently. Quite peaceful. It is winter. It is Christmas. But it will not be a normal one. Everything has changed. This year Christmas is surrounded by death, paint and tears.
And the snow is still falling so softly.
Falling like my broken dreams, all my hope.
You are breaking me every day, again and again and again ...

The farther the distance!

We have got to a point we cannot figure out. We are down, broken & done.
To many facts made this decision. It will be a clean break. Do not try to find me. I am gone.
Anything to say? - I loved you.

Do not say anything you do not mean. Do not promise anything you will break. Just do not anything you will regret!

Keep rocking!
xoxo

I love you

cuz she's amazing, a dive, a killer, a lady, a sexbomb... but she's mine! :) ♥

Love the way you lied

You promised so many things and you've done so little.
You know she loves you. You can guess I love you. And I think you love her even if you cannot see.
I have to stop myself. It hurts already way too much. Every night... but it's alright. Be happy with her.
Because of the pain, because of bleeding I'm feeling I'm still alive.
Maybe I have to move... I think I cannot become happy here.
Hadn't worked out in 16 years. Moving without telling anyone about my new adress or where I moved is sounding very nice to me.

Pretending to rock while crying in my dreams.
xoxo RB

Girls just wanna have fun!

Every time we meet it's just like feeling alive. Everything seems so stupid. All problems are forgotten. We're free. We party. We love us more than anyone could ever understand. We're banded together.
We're there if one of us uses somebody. And so are they.
This is friendship! This is love! That's us! ♥

Helpless

All my thoughts are all about you. I cannot do Or think anything without you in my head. It's killing me slowly. I think you mean already way too much to me. I think you don't/won't feel the same. I've done this so many times before. And still I'm playing the same old song again and again. I'm ridiculously helpless. Kelly Clarkson, Since U Been Gone - Here's the thing we've started up friend It was cool or so you pretend. With each little word what could be enoid or angry it's breaking my heart and I start crying. Love is when you think more about someone else than about you! ... Crying myself asleep though I can rock my dreams! xoxo RB

Breaking dishes

Everyone is breakable.
But you are just breakable when you let something too near to your heart.
Like dishes.
You cannot break dishes if you do not use them.
So it is you who makes yourself breakable.
New project: trying to be unbreakable! As hard as steal.
But just the thought you may think of me or just the thought that it is you who texted me gives me a twitch in my heart...
Shall I give us up or give us another chance?
Do not know. Too confused.
Gettin some beat in my ears... trying to catch a clear thought ...
xoxo Roxy

Your turn ...

I thought we would made it. I thought nothing could ever stop us. ...
But now... you're gone. Still in my mind though. Can't help it out.
I am happy when you're speaking to me. But when you're away I'm thinking of you, us, the possibility. And my head says no.
Don't get it wrong. It's not like you're not awesome but I am not awesome enough for you. You already have so many important persons and things in your live. I don't think there's enough space for me for us. Because I'm getting sick every day, every minute, every second you are not texting me.
It's killing me slowly. I have to stop fighting for us.
Show me that you want me and you will get me. But don't play with me like this. I am sick of it. I am done with it!

Keep on rocking. Rock your dreams.
But do not dream your life.
xoxo RB

Gone in tears!

You live and learn. That's how life is going. That's life.
One of the most important things you learn is to love. But love is always connected with trouble and pain. You cannot have a perfect life. You have to fight for it. You have to loose for it.
Years of happiness are gone in seconds. Lost in tears.
Tears does not show how much you had loved it but they show your pain. If you do not cry that shows your strengths.
Remind yourself nothing last forever! Enjoy it as long as you can though if it is gone you can remember.
It will hurt. Everything hurts. But someday you will think of it and smile. Maybe you keep crying while remember but you know it was it worth fighting for.
It is gone in tears. <3

Keep rockin!
xoxo

I'm yours!

It's ridiculous...
when you smile I am smiling,
when you are sad so am I,
I've never seen you before. Though I've never felt something like this before.
Somehow I'm already yours and you are mine. ♥

I believe...

In all my life I've never met someone like you.
You make me feel better when I'm about to cry. But still it's not enough.
I need to see you, I need to touch you, I need you!
We're like fire and rain. Some say we're not meant for each other. But why do I know you already this well and you me? And why am I missing you when you're not there?
When you're down I'm there for you. When I need you you always give me your hand.

Sometimes I think I'm not good enough. But good enough for what? You? Your friends? You always say I'm crazy. Because you're not better than me. We're both broken. Though you cannot heal alone.

You are not perfect! - For me you are more than perfect.
I am not perfect! - For you I am perfect.
For you, I am cute and your darling.
For me, you are gorgeous and mine. ♥
You aren't perfect, I ain't perfect.
Together, we are perfect. ♥ Like fire and rain. Completely different but somehow the same.
I believe in you.
I believe in me.
I believe in love.
I believe in us! ♥


This is the last time that I try to figure it out!

Keep rockin! Live your dream!
xoxo RB

Like I'm the only girl in the world

She's waiting. Waiting since 3 weeks. Waiting for the one.
She doesn't know him actually. But she's missing him if he's not online. And he makes her feel like she's the only girl in the world.
It's like the world stops for a second. Nothing matters anymore.
Just he + she. Just you + me. Just we ♥

I'm rocking my dream! It's absolutely awesome!
xoxo Rox

Runaway!

Sometimes when nearly everything goes wrong nothing seems to get right again you wish you could run away.
Like you're falling in a big hole can't get a grip on something. You wish you could run away the fastest you can.
But then there's someone holding out his hand for you. Who's listening who's caring about you.
You're falling... but into arms. <3

keep Rockin 'n' dreamin!
xoxo

I don't wanna be

You promise me that I don't have to be jealous. But how can I make myself to stop?!

There are already so many people (so many girls) in your life. Is there enough room for me.

I know that you thing I'm something special. Like I could be the one. Your one.

But what if I'm not special enough for you?!

'Cause you are not like anyone I met before!

But what we have will not last forever. Nothing last forever. So why should we start? Why should it be "we" and not "you" & "me"?! Wouldn't it be easier to stay just friends?

No boy ever reached my heart though it's broken. And I'm protecting it hardly.

So many times I was broken. I swore my heart to never let it be broken again like this. And with the decision to stay away from you I just did it worse than ever.

But what can I do?!

It seems like you don't really need me. You've got your friends. Isn't that enough?

Why do you let me suffer?!

I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't wannabe anything other than me

I don't wanna be anything... but with you. <3

You make me feel

She was happy. She thought she was. But then she met him. She didn't meet him actually. He found her. And know everythings upside down. And she's really happy even she'd never seen him before. But somehow she's falling for him. But still she's not sure that her happy end is this nearly. Though she has to smile when she comes online and there's already a message from him. He's nice. He's hot. He's kind. She really likes him. And he makes her happy. She's like little miss sunshine, a smily face all day. Time will show what comes next. He makes me feel alive. <3 I'll rock my dreams maybe not alone anymore. Ly xx RB

ALIVE!

Yes, I AM ALIVE! :D

Sorry, I had my work experience.

I worked 2 weeks in Lucklum in a horse stable. It was soooo great. I really miss them a lot. I've to visit them soon!

Diaz ♥.

My third week I spent in the U.K. - in Wotton-Under-Edge/Cam/Dursley.

I had to show the children how to calculate or how you say this word and so on. I really fell in love with them they're sooo cute.

I miss them a lot and I hope I can go back and visit them soon!

Alex♥. doing his art project

Also I fell in love with my guest family. Thank you sooo much for everything. I've enjoyed my week with you. I hope I wasn't too weird or freaky :D I love you guys! ♥Me, Wilma, Betty & Charlotte - Missing you. ♥

I'll rock'n'dream.

RB

In the club!

Coming into the club, she already feels the music taking over her feet. She has to dance. She takes the hand of her BFF. Dancing her way through the crowd she scans the people. No people she knows. ...

"Dance like it's the last night of your life!" she says, throwing her arms in the air.

All the trouble, all the pain, every single problem is gone now. Her pulse is beating in the rhythm of the music. Her body is moving to the beat.

She catchs a look at his eyes. He's watching her. She has to smile. She enjoys the attention.

Julz takes her hand & pulls her outside.

... ♥

Rock'n'dream!

These feelings!

Julz (BFF) & Almi.♥

Me & my monster.♥

Sometimes words are not enough to say what you think; how you feel.

Without saying any words they make me feel so good. They make me laugh if I'm about to cry. I do not have to tell them that there is something wrong they feel it.

And no one could it do any better.

Sure we are treading each other though we are in love! ♥

They have got my heart.

Can't wait any longer I have to see them.

Catch you later! I'll rock and dream on her back now...

- xoxo Rox

Baby, I want you!

"It's absolutely ridiculous!" she told herself. Though she couldn't help but thinking about how nice it could be... how nice it would be... how nice it will be?

She was so fascinated by the thought of him; seeing him; seeing his smile; talking to him; having him... she knew it wouldn't come to this.

But she worked on it and slowly she got to know him. Every little step made her so happy. The steps came slowly, veeery slowly. She was too shy for asking for everything.

She tried to get over it she couldn't. Every boy she met she compared with him. And they hurt her. When she was down she had still the thought of him. His blue, clear eyes; his smile which shows how happy he is to see her and which always touches his eyes; his smoothie voice when he talks to her: "Hey! What's up?!"; and last but not least his attractive body. ♥

She'd never felt something like this before. This desire. This passion.

Because of this she decides for the illusion instead of the reality.

The reality hurts her.

The illusion is always there for her.

I'll rock in my dreams now.

- xoxo RB

I'm the princess!?

When we were young we have been told the fantastic fairy tales.

About unicorns, pixes, dragons, princes, princesses etc.

There was always a castle, a prince and a maid. The young woman was in love with the prince. Though she knew she would never get him.

While a fancy-ball the prince noticed the maid first. He fell in love. He cannot tell her because somehow she disappeared. The prince didn't even know her name.

The next day he searched in the whole city for her. He couldn't find her. ...

He asked everyone who he knew but no one had noticed her. The prince decided to make another masquerade ball.

He saw them. This blue, hypnotizing eyes. He went straight through the hall. She caught his gaze too. She followed the affinity. They met right in the middle. Without saying a word they were still gazing at eachother. The Prince took her hand and they started to dance.

...

What did happen that change this?! The prince who fight for you?!

- xoxo Roxy

I'm free!

She walks down the street.

Another boy forgot her. She isn't sad.

That's life!

Smiling she walks down the street, iPod on. As loud as the music can be she dances down the street.

The beat is controlling her pulse.

She's on her way to her BFF. She needs a hug not a boy!

Her friends are enough. That's everything that she needs.

With this awareness she walks down the street. She feels that she has lost something heavy behind her... the force to find the right one. Still believing in happy ends she'll let it come on its own. There's still the ambition but she feels she has to wait.

She get's ready for the switch. She's flying. She's free!

I'll rock 'n' dream!

- xoxo Rox

Remember me!

Sitting all alone in her bed she remembers the good times... the times when she was never alone.

A tear. A smile.

She misses her. But she's wishing her luck.

She knows she has to be happy because her BFF is it. And we're one and the same.

Will it change? -Please, remember me!

I'm far away from where you are! But my heart's with you. - Yeah, I miss you. Every single second, every breath, every step.

Now that she's gone I realize that no boy can give me the love I need... the love you gave me.

We were one of a kind. One blonde, one brunette but the same heartbeat! We were inseparably. Will it change? - Please, remember me!

Couting the days she has to live without her BFF she falls asleep.

Please, remember me!

I'll rock in my dreams.

- xoxo Roxy

Find your love!

She tried so hard to make it right. To fly away but she fell down again.

She made herself sad loosing her love. And here you come again beggin for forgiveness. And she's falling again. Can't reach a branch to stop the fall. If she falls or not doesn't matter. Running away she hurts herself; staying she falls in love again and will be hurt again.

She tried to make it right for everyone but her. And now she's bleeding... she can't have the ones she wants to have... him, her BFF... she's alone.

Though she did it once. She made it through the pain and she'll do it again.

She'll become braver and braver with every breath she takes and every step she makes.

She'll find her love. Hoping he'll get what he's searching for.

- xoxo Roxburry

Falling rain.

She's lying in her bed in the middle of the night. She cannot sleep.
Listening to the falling rain outside she thinks about everything...
about her BFF in Italy... her politics test tomorrow... and of course about boys.
The one she wants so badly seems like a dream. She hasn't seen him for months... the thought makes her sad... And the other guy?! Complicated but not too little. She thinks she wanted him he didn't believe her. She got over it. She went on. He asked her to get out of his life. So she did. A few days ago, he wrote her saying she has to understand him. Though she doesn't. He has to decide! And if he decides that he wants her it's maybe way too late. But hey, that's life! Smiling by the thought that he'll maybe feel what she felt already two times she fell asleep by the sound of the falling rain.

Yeah, maybe it's mean that I want him to feel the pain too but he deservs it.
But I guess I couldn't have this done to him. Because I feel something for him. Not love but kind of passion.

I'll rock in my dreams now.
- xoxo gn8t Roxburry

We pretend !

Everybody knows these sentences.

"The exception proves the rule."

We search for Mr. Right... Mr. Perfect! We wanna believe that there is a man who's different because the exception proves the rule.

No it doesn't. Because there is no exception. It's hard to realize but it's true... Each man is an ass it's impressiv that women aren't all lesbian yet.

"Time heals all wounds."

Time doesn't heal anything. But you learn to live with it and you'll never forget it completly.

That's the truth. Girls, we've to live with that or still dream...

I'll go on with dreaming because a dream will never hurt you, never left you & never break you. ♥

I'll rock & dream about Mr. Right!

- xoxo Rox

Burned Converse!

I had a very nice day with Marisa. (:

She came to BS. We've chilled mostly. But kind of fun.

I really love her already (:

We drank our coffee at starbucks and bought 2 mirrors ... also she bought me a gingerbred-heart (: love it!

later we've chilled in front of the "Schloss"... the sun was burning so hot and it was reflected by my mirror it burned my shoe.

Nice! ^^ now I've got a black point on my converse.

But what ever... all in all it was a fantastic day and I'm excited for the next time.

Baby I love you. ♥

I'll rock & dream.

- xoxo Roxi

Brokenhearted

I had to let go. She's a big girl now. But it's hard to let my baby go. Who'll  take care of her?! She has to learn it to care for herself. I know she'll do  fine.  But me, no... it will be hard... it is already. 2 hours ago.  Something big is missing.  It feels like my heart is split in parts. One part for each good friend. A very  big part is missing.  Writing with tears in my eyes, I remember her last words:  
"You know I love you. It's not like I'm not coming back!"
 Also she left me her heart :) funny thing, she really did! Her heart-pillow.  Totally in love with it.  I have to hide my tears behind it because I'm on the way back to Brunswick and  her mom sits besides me.  And yes I know that it's "only" a year but I'm afraid.  I've just seen pictures those were one year ago. We've changed so much. But  we've changed eachother... together.  And now she'll change in italy and I in germany. What will change between us? 

"I'm missing you so much 
Can't help it, I'm in love 
A day without you is like a year without rain 
I need you by my side 
Don't know how I'll survive 
A day without you is like a year without rain" (...)
Selena Gomez - A year without rain

But the fact that I love you makes me smile and cry at one time. Because this is the only thing what counts. 

Baby, I love you.   I've to stop writing (& thinking) it makes me crying^^ Guess there's no make up  left.^^  I'll try to rock and dream on a year without you.  -xoxo Roxy

Please, don't leave me!

It's not that I don't like your boyfriend. I just think you could have someone better.

Exactly not even this... I"m afraid of losing you. I love you way to much!

From Brunswick to Turin! ♥

Your choice!

You said I cannot play with you like that. But I didn't. You didn't believe me. I wasn't falling for you I fell for your game. You'd done this to me once now you did it twice. But you don't regret and you'll never say that you're just playing. You don't wanna write with me because you cannot pretend there was nothing. You pretend that I don't exist though I do! And I can't believe you that you don't care of me but I'm still an option 'cause you're a player. But baby, I'm more than just an option! Find your love! Or go on with your ugly girlfiriend. Yeah I shouldn't care but I do somehow. I WILL ROCK AND DREAM WITHOUT YOU HONEY, YOUR CHOICE! - xoxo Rox

You leave me breathless!

Maybe I'm paranoid. But I'm in love.

I haven't you though the memory of you.

And one of your gazes, one of your "Hi!" 's compensate me for all the sleeplees nights and all the pain. ...

Yeah sometimes it hurts to think about you... about you & me... about what could be... about what should be... about what is...

And this one moment after a veeeery long time that I hadn't seen you when I see you face again. It's magical!

"Falling head over heels

Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life

Cuz you leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me (...)"

The Veronicas - Speechless

I try to rock 'n' dream because I'm born to be me! ♥

- xoxo Roxburry

Ups & Downs

Lost in thoughts she plays her guitar...

All the crap comes up at the same time. It seems like everything is going wrong what can go wrong. It's like she has to bear up to play the ups again.

Her music gives her the power.

She feels the lowest part of the song. Nothing can pull her down again.

She gets ready for the jump.

She flys.

Everything seems alright again. All the trouble disappeared.

She's got goosebumps on her arms. Her eyes are full of tears.

She's happy.

She did it. She played the ups. ...

Lost in thoughts she plays her guitar ...

I rock'n'dream!

- xoxo Rox

I'm not the same girl!

Irritated she took a drag from her cigarette.

Thinking about what was last year she sat down. She'd changed a lot. Last year she hated smoking or drinking much alcohol. Yeah, she wasn't the same girl. She became braver and more self confident. People who don't know her think she's arrogant and unemotional. But she's not. She don't want to be broken again.

And now everything seems to fall apart again. Hasn't she told herself: never again!?

Irritated she took a drag from her cigarette.

She doesn't smoke for being cool. Smoking gives her kind of control of her thoughts and feelings. Like a blackout, a perfect movie which doesn't include mourning.

Her head starts spinning, breath out.

And now she can hear her heart beating. Feels the cold wind in her face and smells the wet grass.

Everything she has worried about is now gone.

She took a drag and finished her cigarette.

Once upon a time...

I had a best friend. We were inseparably. Like one brain, one soul, one girl.

Always there for eachother. There wasn't a thing she didn't know about me or I didn't know about her. Thinking this would never change I was happy. I didn't need something but her. No boy, no money, nothing.

But one day she didn't tell me the truth. She hasn't lied to me but she had a secret.

And I'm not angry that she hasn't told me I'm disappointed that she thought I wouldn't understand it. That I would yell at her. It makes me sad that you think that.

And now, she's gonna leave the country for a year and I don't know what's coming up. Are we going to stay BFF's or are we going different paths?!

- xoxo Roxy

I'm alright, thanks.

Why should I say "Yeah, I'm alright! Everything is fine." If it isn't. Am I lying to myself?

What am I doing wrong? I shouldn't care about it though I do.

It seems like a deja-vu. I've been already through this shit! Why does it come up again?

Last time, it hasn't broke me but it pulled me down for a long time. Though it made me stronger!

I've changed a lot, I'm not the little, shy girl from last year, I'm brave. I'm doing what I want to do and I'm fighting for the things I want. But I guess the one fight is already lost! I've lost my best Girlfriend. And she'll be gone to Italy on Friday. Nice!

The other fight I don't really know if I want him or just don't want another girl to have him.

I rock 'n' dream - Born to be me!

- xoxo Roxburry

Saturday Night!

Yesterday I was at the festival in Brunswick. Kind of fun. =D

We drove with a chairoplane seems like ages ago that I did that.

And my BFF bought me a gingerbread heart :) So sweet!

Check it out, left!

All in all it was a great evening/night. But the end was kind of horror! Got bad news. Not bad news but news which are incomprehensible!

Accordingly, it seems like I'm making mistakes but I don't!

I rock 'n' dream - born to be me!

- xoxo Rox

Is it love?!

I don't really know what to do or what I should do what I have to do.

I only know I should know it better! It's so ridiculous.

Why can't I stop myself.

Because I believe in us. I know if you would give us a chance it would be fantastic.

Maybe it wouldn't last forever but what lasts forever?!

Maybe the fact that I'm falling for you.

Tonight I'm gonna party again and though I know it's mad I hope I'll see you!

'Cause one of your smiles makes me feel so unbelievably good.

Am I in love?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsT2URr1Igc